Church today

Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens

Graduation. A good day.

Mozambique still...

Mozambique again...

looking out over the city

The best day ever, apart from all the crap

I don't think I've screamed and danced around the room the way I did five minutes ago, for a long, long time.

Patricia Schonstein, the poet who won my heart within a few sentences, the woman who makes me feel acceptable and ok and normal, the woman who writes of the lives of refugees, the fullness of disabled children, the incredible beauty of beads, has agreed to present my beading class with their graduation certificates.

I will meet her in two weeks. I need that time to practice what I will say, to compose myself!

My day was long, and challenging. As I got off the bus home, I spotted one of Bianca's carers walking along, so joined her. I pointed out how beautiful the clouds looked in the sunset. She pointed out that Bianca is getting fat. I walked down the corridor to the sound of B screaming out my name, and had to sit by her bedside, powerless, watching her self-harm in her utter, earth-shattering anger with her life and the cruelties visited upon her. I walked home feeling like death, dreading an evening with the echoes of her screams bouncing around my brain. And I get home to an email which I have only dreamed of before, from my favourite author, happily accepting my daring invitation.

Such is my life here. Whenever I feel like I am coping, something comes along and makes me feel like I can't go on. But whenever life is hard and I feel I can't go on, something amazing turns up and I can't believe how lucky I am.