Finally it begins.

The great storm.
Having made its threats the whole day through.

At midday it threw up its first thunderous warnings.
On one side of the house, bright summer sky, and on the other, deep dark clouds.
We pray that it is moving away.

It fooled us for a whole seven hours, with bright blue skys.
Beautiful blue.

Visiting my girls at six, the thunder wells up inside me.

Both are uncomfortable, neither cared for the way a child deserves to be.
One vomits with the strength of coughing.
Splashes hit my trousers and in that motherly way, I just don’t care.
My only concern is for a cloth for her.
The other weeps as I leave, having called my name out all day.
I cannot bare it.
Another child’s older sister can see my pain.
'Go'. 'I’ll watch her'.

Outside the colours overwhelm.
There are textures of silk, lace, satin in the sky.
Billowing clouds, folding and folding into
hadeda greys,
flamingo pinks,
sherbet oranges,
baby blues.

Then the great divide happens again.

This time, intense, bright whites and yellows through the gap in the peninsula.
Egytian geese fly against the blinding backdrop, as if revelling in something holy.

The other side, the side of the townships, inpenetrable grey-black.

There I stand in the middle, not knowing which way to look.
Drawn to the heavenly light and yet sucked in by the darkness.

My heart screams with rage and foreboding.
All I can think is of my girls, my poor, wonderful girls.
Lying alone, not tucked in, not watched. No one seeing their beauty.

It starts down low.
That kind of thunder you only hear when you are listening for it.
Flashes of light across the sky.

Then tears. At last.

The sky cries my tears for me.

I am sick of crying, tired of helplessness.

The sky tells me of,
reminds me of,
joins me in my rage.
Tells me of,
reminds me of
the outrageousness of a child left unloved.

I sit alone in my room, lights off, watching the rain fall down the windows, watching the curtains blow in.
Not knowing any more what to do with this split-in-two heart.

The air smells so sweet.